Day Four: Legends of the Hidden Temple

6/15/13, 1:38 PM PDT

Woke up really late today. Well, compared to the other days of summer, I guess waking up at 1 is pretty normal for most teenagers in summer.

Man, parkour really made me tired, I guess. I slept at midnight yesterday, so I got 12 hours of sleep. Mom bought a big box of cheese balls, each a little bigger than my fist. I ate around ten, fifteen of those for breakfast. I can usually only manage to eat six or seven.

Oh, and I had some pretty awesome dreams last night. At least, I think they're awesome, I can barely remember them. I just remember waking up feeling like I just saved the universe or something. Like I can do anything.

Better use these feelings to go and accomplish awesome things.



Same day, 11:55 PM PDT

Wow, that's a pretty huge time gap, huh?

Well, mostly Internet-related things happened here. More tweaking with my server and a few rounds of Assassin.

But the highlight of the day? SynchTube. Well, not exactly SynchTube, more like a copy of it. But nevertheless, it accomplished the same goal, which was to let the Skype Group and I watch the same videos at the same time.

And oh my GOD, did I miss nights like these. First we watched this RIDICULOUS show called "Man vs. Beast." Synopsis? Human beings compete against animals in various activities.

Today's main course? MIDGETS RELAY RACE AGAINST A CAMEL.

It's great, huh?

Oh my god, my head's throbbing from laughing as I'm writing this. After those videos, we watched a HELL OF A LOT of "Legends of the Hidden Temple" and "Nick Guts," both of which Angela had never heard of prior to today, even though to me, Kayla, Brandon, and Christina, those two shows were OUR CHILDHOOD.

We also laughed at JR, who was SPECTACULARLY BAD at his competitions.

After that, we tried to watch a movie, but couldn't find one worth watching, so we decided to end the night there.

Wow, today was hilarious. Not even sarcastic, I laughed so hard today, my throat hurts.





RFotD: A dog most likely interprets a smiling person as baring their teeth, which is an act of aggression. Don't smile at dogs.

SGAT: None really.

Day Three: The Minecraft Space Mission

6/14/13, 10:39 AM PDT

Dropped my sister off really early again. I think I'm getting used to getting up at 7 AM.

Actually, no. No I'm not. My mom practically had to drag me out of my bed to drop my sister off.

Then, went to go watch Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. I never knew that movie could be so ridiculously funny, I thought it would just be a stupid, vulgar film. Well, it was pretty vulgar, but still very funny. I'd recommend watching it, but it's pretty inappropriate in a lot of parts, so I can't do that.



Same day, 2:03 PM PDT

Had a pretty successful server run today. Eight entire players online at once, which made for lots of pretty awesome assassinations, especially since I modified the Assassin kit to have a HIDDEN GUN. It's pretty much an instant kill that has infinite range and takes a minute to reload, but oh my GOD, did it spice up the PVP on the server. I actually think it's kind of overpowered now. Considering either nerfing it or buffing the other kits.

Then, I picked up my sister from school and saw the MOST ADORABLE PAIR OF POMERANIAN PUPPIES AT THE PARK. Oh my GOD, they were so tiny and SO FRICKING CUTE.

LOOK AT IT. OH MY GOD, IT'S SO CUTE.

I WANT IT. NO, I NEED IT.

They remind me of the pomeranians in the story I wrote awhile back. They'll probably grow up to destroy the world. But I don't care, they're adorable.

Same day, 7:06 PM PDT

JESUS CHRIST. FIVE HOURS OF MINECRAFT STRAIGHT. MY EYES BURN WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS.

Did a LOT in Minecraft. Played the "Dropper" map on Brandon's server, which was pretty easy since I had optifine and could see infinitely. After Brandon logged out and left his server on, we decided to push the limits on his server by causing AS MUCH LAG AS WE COULD. First, Ivan spammed bats EVERYWHERE.

And I do mean EVERYWHERE. This is barely a fraction of the total bat
density in the server.

Then, Christina put out a bunch of chickens, which made me crash a few times. To which I retaliated by pulling out my autoclicker and summoning a MILLION BOTTLES OF EXPERIENCE.

Everyone was blinded by the sheer XP volume.

Then, when most of the people left, Ivan and I decided to make a player cannon made out of TNT. We started this quest at around 3:00.

WE DID NOT FINISH UNTIL 7. FOUR HOURS OF ENGINEERING, REDSTONE CIRCUITRY, PISTONS, AND DISPENSERS. At times we wanted to stop. At times, it felt like our eyes would burn out and our brains would be come cube-shaped like the blocks that filled them.

Mark 1. Spectacular failure.

Mark 2. Getting better, but failed roughly 70% of the time.

Mark 3. Launched us HIGH, but broke half of the time due to its
design.

But at long last, our efforts culminated into the GREATEST PLAYER CANNON EVER BUILT.

Mark 4. Pure perfection.

This behemoth right here could launch me 1,400 BLOCKS STRAIGHT INTO THE AIR AND IT CAN GO HIGHER. I was launched so high in the air that even with OptiFine and render distance set to max, I could NOT see the ground. I WENT SO HIGH THAT I COULD SEE THE MOON WHERE THE GROUND WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. AND IT WAS DAYTIME.

I only got this screenshot from my second time in the cannon. Still
ridiculously high, no?

The cannon worked for Kayla too, but for some reason, Ivan's launch height was capped at 500 blocks. Probably because I programmed the cannon to be racist and Ivan's Mexican.

My eyes hurt and I almost completely forgot about parkour that's about to happen in about an hour, so see you until then!

Same day, 11:32 PM PDT

Aww yeah, great day of parkour. Brought my camera out to take pictures and videos, but because my camera's not exactly fantastic, I couldn't get very good shots at all. Got some pretty awesome videos, but I don't really want to upload them here since I'd like to keep this blog strictly photos and stories. But since half of my audience is from Facebook, you can check the videos out there if you'd like!

Did some pretty crazy stuff. Made a few pretty far double kongs and equally far dive kongs. Also tried my hand at precisions, wall ups and worked a bit on my wall spins.

...This terminology's just flying over your head, huh? Well, I did cool stuff.

Oh, Seth brought a few of his friends from tennis along too. One of them was in my math class, the rest of them I vaguely remember from various Facebook posts that lie in my subconscious. They didn't really do much, but they did give an honest effort, which was pretty great. Especially Andy, he was AWESOME. He did pretty much all of the vaults and managed to do a BACKFLIP into the foam pit, something that even I can't do in my three or four years of parkour.

After gym hours, had some pretty awkward conversation with one of the coaches and recycled a joke that I heard literally a few minutes before I talked to him. Recited some SpongeBob lines with my sister on the drive home. Eventually, my dad got in it too and we sang the song Sandy wrote when she was homesick for Texas.

My family's awesome.

RFotD: Vacuum cleaners in the early 20th century were large, powered by coal, and required three people to operate.

SGAT: Exercised a lot.

Day Two: Purges and Pickups

6/13/13, 9:05 AM PDT

Woke up early again to drop my sister off. You know those Safety Patrol kids in elementary school? The ones that dress in red clothes and direct the pedestrian traffic in front of the school? I think it's a helpful little school program. Makes it pretty easy for me to cross the street without getting killed.

That's why the sheer "doucheness" (for lack of a better word) of this guy is worthy of mention. This morning, Safety Patrol was going about their normal routine. Whistle person blew once, signaling the other Safety Patrol kids to lower their stop signs. As usual, safety patrol waited around five seconds to make sure no cars were coming around. The whistle person was about to blow twice, signaling that we could cross, when suddenly, some jerk, on his phone while driving, decides to turn at that same intersection, ignoring the poor, innocent Safety Patrol kids doing their job.

Of course, everyone flips out about how rude the guy is. Or, maybe it was just me, I didn't notice anyone else doing anything.

Anyway, after I dropped my sister off, I decided to go for a run around my neighborhood. I hadn't run any distance longer than half a mile in about a year, so I wanted to get back in shape. Stretched, got my music on and everything.

I only lasted ten minutes. Ten minutes.

Holy crap, am I unhealthy. I used to be able to run for half an hour straight in middle school, but now ten minutes?

I gotta get back in shape. So starting today, I'm gonna be working out a lot more. I'm sticking to a stricter exercise schedule. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I'll be jogging laps around my neighborhood. Tuesday and Thursday mornings, I'll be working on upper body. Crunches, sit ups, push ups, whatever. Friday nights are gonna be parkour sessions as usual. Weekends are rest days, with 30 crunches in the morning and 30 crunches at night.

Wish me luck, guys! Hopefully, before summer ends, I'll get a 10 pack or something.



Same Day, 2:30 PM PDT

Been tweaking my Minecraft server for a bit. Have to say, it's pretty awesome. Wanna play? Message me on Facebook and I'll probably give you the IP!



Same Day, 7:43 PM PDT

Went to go watch "The Purge" with Angela, Christina, Christina' cousin (forgot his name, so here on out, I'll call him CC), Kayla, Nick, Alex (Angela's brother), and a few of Alex's friends.

Well... technically, we watched Star Trek. We cheated the system by buying tickets to Star Trek, getting snacks, and turning to The Purge. Made me feel dirty and ugly for doing it, especially since my preferred career of choice is "screenwriter," but whatever, I'll let it slide today if only because I've really wanted to see it. Saw Brandon at the theaters too, but he didn't watch with us.

Wait, hold on, before I go on about the movie, I have to tell you the stuff that happened before the film. So we arranged to meet at Panera Bread before the movie started. I got there the earliest because my house is closest, so I waited at a table by myself for awhile.

Then, Nick came. And the awkwardness burrowed itself right between us.

It started with light conversation.

"Hey."

"Sup."

Followed by a cold 5 minutes of dead silence and phone twiddling.

He touched my foot once. AND THE AWKWARDNESS DOUBLED. Jesus, the awkwardness smelled stronger than the scent of bread at Panera. Thank god Angela came in before the restaurant imploded on itself from the sheer density of the awkwardness. Even a second longer and the awkwardness would've collapsed into a singularity.

I bought a yogurt parfait and Nick brought a breadbowl with soup. I was kind of mad that he didn't finish the bread, but whatever.

Christina, Kayla, and CC came soon after. Around 10 minutes were left before the movie started and what does Kayla decide to buy? Another goddamn breadbowl. Course her tiny stomach couldn't swallow the whole thing in less than 10 minutes, so what does she do? SHE DECIDES TO SNEAK IT INTO THE MOVIE THEATER.

Alright, now for the actual movie. It was pretty bad. The concept was amazing, but the writers were STUPID with the story. It was composed entirely of unnecessary jump scares and plot twists that were either incredibly predictable or incredibly dumb, sometimes both.

I bet I could write a better story. You know what? I think I will. Expect it probably next week.

Then, we went to Barnes and Noble. And that's where the real fun was at.

We found a book of pickup lines.

Probably my favorite book of all time.

Some of those were comedic GOLD. Who could forget classic lines such as

"Hey babe, have you ever had sex on a motorized scooter?" Or

"When they tested Viagra, I was in the control group." Or the unforgettable

"I'll pay you."

Then we walked into the kids' section and found a book specifically made to explain physical changes caused by puberty to girls. I was horrified by every page. Every. Page.

Pure and unquestionable nightmare fuel for the average
male teenager.

Oh, and if you were thinking about getting me a birthday present, that book would do. Or, wait, no, I'd actually prefer this MAKE YOUR OWN RANSOM KIT.

Perfect for weddings and parties!

We also found the Bible, illustrated with LEGO BRICKS.

They actually got really creative with this one, I'm
impressed.

Yep, all in all a pretty good day.





RFotD: President James Garfield could write Latin with one hand and Greek in the other simultaneously.

Summer Goals Accomplished Today (SGAT): Started getting back in shape.

Day One: Dancing with Disguises in Doppelgangers

6/12/13, 1:06 AM PDT

Aww yeah, made major revisions to the first weekly story of summer! The Medical Compound, partly based on Doctor Who. Give it a read, it's pretty good in my opinion.

I'm exhausted from writing for a good six hours straight. I'm gonna go sleep.



Same Day, 8:49 AM PST

Had to wake up early to drop my sister off at school. Gonna have to do this for the next month since my sister goes to a year-round school, which blows for me.

Well, this first day wasn't that bad. Actually really liked getting up earlier than 10 AM on a non-school day, the cold air felt nicer than the stupid half-broken fan in my room.

They're repaving the road near the school, so my sister and I had to take the long way to school, and by "long way," I mean five minutes longer. We were nearly late, but it was alright because they gave everyone an extra ten minutes to go to class without tardy punishment because of the construction.

After that, I went for a light morning jog, which, surprisingly, left me a lot more tired than it should have. Gotta jog more often, shooting to get my mile time under six minutes again. Damn high school PE for being counterproductive, making me somehow more unhealthy than if you had just let me go home earlier so I could practice parkour.

But it's okay, I can rebuild my physical self in two and a half months. Piece of cake. Right?



Same Day, 11:57 AM PDT

Working on starting up my Minecraft server. Editing permission nodes takes FOREVER, but hopefully it'll be worth it since my old server used to be the "hypest."

I'll post IP here when (if) I finish it!



Same Day, 6:34 PM PST

FINALLY. After a few thousand hours of work, got my server up and running! Seeing as you're probably one of my Facebook friends and not a complete stranger, message me on Facebook if you want the IP to play!

Before you guys ask for the IP, I'll let you know that it's a modified PVP server based a lot on the multiplayer mode for "Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood." You disguise yourself as one of five different villager types and you get sent into a closed-off city to find and kill other players stealthily. It's actually quite intense.

Dear Jesus, my computer's fan is going crazy. Remind me to clean up the dust filters before today ends, alright?



Same Day, 9:38 PM PST

Very, very, very successful server run today. Played Assassin for a bit, then just decided to mess around with DisguiseCraft. Discovered what a godzilla slime was, much to everyone's amusement, and took some very inspiring images of boats and minecarts traveling to the moon.

Then, Brandon logged on and we decided to freak him out. We all turned into the strangest things we could imagine. A block of TNT, a giant magma cube, and a goddamn ENDER DRAGON. When all three of us chased him around the map, he described it as quote "a horrifying nightmare."

Later, that nightmare got much worse because somehow, the topic of Doppelgangers came up. Particularly, my freshman Doppelganger, a person who goes by the name "Rallen."

Rallen. Or maybe it's me, I can't remember.

THE RESEMBLANCE IS UNCANNY. Great, now I have to watch myself every time I go to school because if I ever run into him, only one of us would be walking out alive.

Finally, we started playing Tekkit, but most of us were too tired and Tekkit was ridiculously complex, so we called it a night.

Not a bad first day. Not bad at all.

And wow, I just realized how amazing this post's title is. I might make that my next story, actually.





RFotD: Four million tons of hydrogen are consumed by the sun every second, which helps to create the sun's composition of 75% hydrogen, 23% helium, and 2% heavier elements.

Summer Goals Accomplished Today: Restart my Minecraft server.

Day Zero: Around Mira Mesa in Eighty Minutes

6/11/13, 1:22 PM PDT

Woke up incredibly early so that I could get to school and drop my textbook off before everybody else and their mothers flooded the library. Barely managed to get to school right as the library door opened, so I was one of the lucky few to take less than five minutes to put away my only textbook.

The other 150+ people waiting in a line inside the library? Not so lucky.

The rest of the school day was pretty okay. Took my Biology final, which didn't really matter since I had over 100% in that class. Also managed to figure out Dr. Steinbach's wood cube puzzle thing that he gave us before the test started. I think he was pretty impressed by me because he said that it was the first time anyone's ever solved it besides him.

The Wood Block Puzzle. I know, I know. I'm a genius.

Got a package of bagels from Angela, the best present I've ever gotten from her. I was about to thank her for her generosity, but then she selfishly took them back and gave me an already-opened bag of lesser-quality bagels.

What a punk.

Then, French. The last period of the day. Gave my less-than-awesome presentation, along with three other people. Then came the mandatory after-presentation potluck. I made poutine for the class, which is basically french fries, gravy, and cheese. It was quite delicious and it disappeared in roughly 15 minutes, which was surprising.

Mmm, poutine. Thanks to Hao for the picture!

Saved a bit of poutine for Angela because she's been wanting to try some for a long, LONG time (she said that she had put it in her bucket list). But when I gave it to her when school ended, SHE EFFING THREW IT AWAY.

Remind me to never give anything food related to the ungrateful Angela.



Same Day, 3:43 PM PDT

Practically SPRINTED out of school. Well, it was more of a meander than a sprint, but you get my point. I wanted to leave. BADLY.

Went with Ivan, Khai, Seth, and Daniel to Boba, bought me a mango smoothie which was delicious. Then, went to the neighboring Target to, as you younglings call it, "stir some shit." We saw a group of middle schoolers in the toy aisle. When one of them cracked a joke, they all laughed, but one kid caught my eye in particular.

Why? Because as he laughed, he did a mini squat down and picked his wedgie in one fluid, seamless motion. It was elegant, almost with the grace of a dancer. So fast, so smooth, like a magician with incredible sleight of hand. Nobody in his little group seemed to notice.

But his back was turned to me. Which means I noticed.

But don't worry, kid. If you're reading this right now, your secret's safe with me.

Actually... come to think about it, there were a lot of middle schoolers at Target. Jesus, there were... there were hordes of them everywhere! In every aisle, outside the store, and I'm pretty sure I heard a few in the ventilation shafts. It was ridiculously middle-school dense.

After that, we walked home and talked about surprisingly deep, scientific topics. Topics such as the conscious implications of teleportation, why twins don't share the same consciousness, and how ridiculous the Xbox One is.

We also half-explored some canyons, one in particular looked extra horrifying, so we stopped, in fear of a rabid wolfman coming out of the bushes and mauling us to death. Or getting raped. But if anyone was desperate enough to try and rape us, then they would actually deserve my pity.

Oh, and Ivan modeled next to a few shopping carts too.

Swag.

We're a strange bunch, I know.



Same Day, 4:15 PM PDT

Found a GIGANTIC daddy longlegs spider in my bathroom, perched atop the roll of toilet paper attached to the holder on my wall. It's no exaggeration, it was MASSIVE. Two inches in diameter. If you connected two if its opposite legs together and stretched them out just a little, they would be the size of my thumb.

It was disgusting. Even worse was the sickening crunching sound it made when I crushed it with a paper towel. It's like taking six of the crunchiest leaves that ever existed and slowly crumpling them in your hands all together.

I swept up its corpse and flushed it down the toilet. Unused, of course, because even though they're my mortal enemies, they deserve respect in death.

The Michael-Spider Neutrality Treaty had been broken. And the Summer War starts once more.



Same Day, 7:54 PM PDT

Woke up from a two hour nap, then quickly (and unfortunately, sloppily) finished my weekly story. Pretty disappointed in how it turned out, but I'll fix it, promise.

Christina's been harassing me to get on Skype for the past few hours, so I'll end today's entry with me playing Minecraft until way, way past dark.

Not a bad first day, don't you think?



Same Day, 8:20 PM PDT

Okay, I lied, one more thing I forgot about. I got a letter from New York University advertising me to go to their school, which is pretty insane since their film school's one of the highest ranked in the world.

It's a shame their tuition's so ridiculously high. But whatever. The fact that I've impressed them enough for them to send me a letter is enough for me.





Random Fact of the Day (RFotD): Humans grow faster at night than they do during the day because a small part of the brain, the pituitary gland, releases a growth hormone at night while a person sleeps.

Summer Goals Accomplished Today: None yet.