Day Fifty-Six: Bootleg Toys

8/8/14, 4:04 AM PDT

I rediscovered "Plague Inc" on my phone today. Two years ago, I was absolutely OBSESSED with this game, I beat every plague type on the hardest difficulty and pretty much beat the game 100%. Since then, I pretty much just let it sit in my iPhone.

You can imagine how surprised I was when I opened the app today and found they added a NEW hardest difficulty, a new plague type, customizable genes that you had to unlock, AND new scenarios.

And I thought I was on vacation.

Yeah, I got to work. And tell you what, compared to Brutal, the hardest difficulty back then, Mega-Brutal is EVIL. Brutal was a cakewalk for me, but DAMN, Mega-Brutal absolutely WRECKS ME when I play. But the new Zombie mode is REALLY cool. Haven't been able to beat it yet on anything harder than Normal, but I'm working on it.

Later, we went to Gaisano again to buy my sister a toy for surviving the blood sample that she needed to have to be diagnosed. There were a BUNCH of bootleg toys in here that I thought was hilarious.

First there's the name-changed ripoff toys to avoid copyright lawsuits:

Like the guy that writes Sherlock, right?

Owning it is your best choice! Better than college and a job!

The Autobots accidentally landed in North Korea.

These guys just got lost.

Then there's the awkward translations:

It's temperature is only 70°F. Hardly cool in my book.

"I can cook, clean, do dishes... Please I'm so lonely."

This one's not too awkward, I'm just amazed
that they said "circumgyrate."

Notice how the phone itself has NOTHING to
do with Angry Birds.

And then there's the toys where the manufacturer stopped caring completely.

Raphael now comes with a shiny Lightning
McQueen!

The Claw really messed that alien up.

That snake in her boot was unfortunately a
carrier of the Rage Virus.

There was this cool little thing too.

Real? Fake? No one knows, but it's still cool.

Also, my grandma's dog has PUPPIES. They're adorable. Even though they're covered in ticks and probably have a skin disease, but hey, cuteness comes in many forms.

In the aaaaaarms offfff the aiyyyengels...

Fly awaaaaaaaaaaay from here...

This one got a little too close to the camera.

There we go.

The proud mother. I think.

Oh, yeah, we have a goat. I forgot to mention that.

Hi.

RFotD: The time it takes for an update to save is directly proportional to the amount of pictures in the post. This post took 45 minutes just to upload.

SGAT: Got into the swing of using this tablet even though it's been sitting in my closet untouched for over a year.

Day Fifty-Five: Stomach Flu

8/7/14, 1:05 AM PDT

Went to a different mall today called Gaisano. Yeah, you're probably gonna read about a lot of mall trips during my vacation, it's a pretty popular thing to do here.

Almost, America. Almost.

Unfortunately, we didn't get to stay for long. My sister got sick with stomach flu and we had to go to the hospital, where my uncle, a doctor, treated her. It's nothing serious though, she'll be better in three days says my uncle.

Alright, let's settle a debate here. So before we went to the hospital, I bought a small box of pizza, about the size of a dinner plate. I ate it at the hospital lobby because I was STARVING and we were there for a good three hours. My mom says that eating at the lobby of a hospital is disgusting even though there was a crude cafeteria area right next to where we were waiting. Me, being the taster of said pizza, noticed nothing disgusting about eating at a hospital.

So, readers, tell me. Is it gross to eat in hospital lobbies? Comment below! And yes, there's a comment section, if you never knew, you just have to click on the actual entry to see it.

Not to sway your opinion or anything, but my mom saw a cockroach crawl across the ground of my uncle's office in the hospital and she shrugged it off as normal, so comparatively, how bad can eating in a hospital be?

Point taken, Silent Hill.

RFotD: Silent Hill's Otherworld hospitals only have slightly less strict health and safety requirements as my uncle's office.

SGAT: Ate delicious pizza.

Day Fifty-Four: Loitering In Malls

8/6/14, 12:47 AM PDT

I was still a bit impacted by jet lag, which made me wake up at 5:30 AM. Our maids weren't awake yet, so I ended up killing some time by reading a little more of A Thousand Splendid Suns. Incredibly sad so far, I'll tell you that. Those of you going into AP Lit that haven't started reading it yet, GET TO IT.

Went to Robinson's (one of the malls in the area) with my cousins Kershey and Kring-Kring. It's very big.

Oh, Big Box Mart...

...What have you done to me?

They have some really cool stuff here too, so they're not just compensating. They had interesting donut designs at Dunkin Donuts.

Maybe if we put it under the sea, someone will live in it.

Yan-Yan. For Men™

They also had some adorable prizes in the claw machines.

Money money money...

Not quite breaking 100, but still.

The Masuda Method made getting shinies waaaay too easy.

No joke, I spent 135 pesos trying to win one. No dice.

And this beauty too.

Commonly found in tropical areas, this species is considered
Endangered in Southern California.

We visited a shop called Kenko World and found some... Interesting phone cases.

I think you have the dong wrong number, sir.

We also ran into ASHLEY TISDALE.

These three are actually pictures taken before, during, and after
taking drugs.

And I also found the GREATEST GIFT EVER. I won't post a picture of it until I get back to America since I maaaay or may not be giving this gift to a certain person who reads my blog regularly, but let's just say that it's the best mug ever.

My cousins and I watched Guardians of the Galaxy, and we drove back home at around 7 PM, riding on the back of my uncle's pickup truck.

If there's two things I like about the Philippines, it's the abundance of Jolibee and the carefree motor vehicle laws. You just don't get that in America.

Then again, you don't get hordes of mosquitoes and regular, sweltering heat in America either, so I think the two are about even.




RFotD: Embedding links is too hard here. 

SGAT: Tried (and failed) to win a Pikachu.

Day Fifty-Three: She Won't Let Me Pee

8/5/14, 5:26 AM PDT

Woke up to a beautiful, beautiful breakfast, compliments of our hotel.

Mmm, stale bread.

Yeah, it plenty sucked. But hey, they gave us three cups of pineapple juice, two of which I drank since my sister doesn't really like them.

10 minutes later, those pineapple juice cups would almost destroy me.

So as usual, we passed security checkpoints in the airport and waited in line to check in to our flights. Two problems though. One: The queue was around 10, 15 people long. Two:

My bladder was full to bursting.

You'd think that with 15 people in line in front of us, each taking on average three minutes to check in their bags and get their boarding passes, I would have enough time to get out of line, go to the bathroom, and come back before it's our turn. And I tried.

Too bad the only bathrooms in the entire airport are in areas that REQUIRE YOU TO HAVE A BOARDING PASS. The biggest tease? One of the bathrooms was literally STEPS AWAY FROM THE BORDER BETWEEN BOARDING PASS AND NON BOARDING PASS AREA. The only thing standing between me and an empty bladder were ten paces and a lady security guard checking people's boarding passes.

You'd think she would be reasonable. I was wearing an easily identifiable shirt (the green CWC club shirt) and there was literally nothing in that area that a potential terrorist could destroy that would cost millions of lives. So I ask her if I could just go to the bathroom (again, literally steps away from her) and walk right back to my spot like an innocent, harmless civilian.

"No boarding pass, no entry. No exceptions."

"Okay, are there any other bathrooms nearby?"

"This one."

She points to the damn bathroom that's RIGHT NEXT TO HER. The bathroom that I WAS TRYING TO GET TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. It's like she's just taunting me with reminders that it exists but never giving me the satisfaction of actually using it.

Basically.

I asked again if I could use it. And she turns around, faces me, and goes:

"Sir, I don't want to have to tell you again. No boarding pass. No entry. No exceptions."

I kid you not, when she said that, she let no less than FOUR people slip past into the boarding pass area. This wasn't a security checkpoint, mind you. She wasn't stamping boarding passes, there were no metal detectors to pass through, it was pretty much a Sims-style barrier composed of a bunch of chairs tied together with yellow caution tape with a gap in it wide enough for one security guard that thought I was a terrorist warlord even though the only thing exploding about me was my bladder.

Me in about fifteen seconds.

In the end, I had to wait THIRTY MINUTES. My mom commented that I was sweating while waiting in line and I'm not entirely sure if that's from the humidity, the heat, or my kidneys crying in agony. But I got my boarding pass, waved it at the guard's stupid face, and finally made it to the bathroom.

Inside the airport (after passing some ACTUAL security checkpoints), I ate delicious ramen then explored a bit. Found a pizza guy that looked like he was trying to suppress a 'Nam flashback.

Mamma mia.

Eventually boarded the plane. Finally got a much covered window seat this time, where I got to snap this pretty picture of what look like the puffiness clouds ever.

I didn't know I lived in a Miyazaki film.

Arrived in Butuan an hour or so later, finished the day by reading a bit of A Thousand Splendid Suns.




RFotD: If I tried to cite where I got the pictures that I found on the Internet, this process would take ten more minutes.

SGAT: More blogging.

Day Fifty-Two: Malls Are Fun

8/4/14, 12:09 PM PDT

We arrived in Manila. We're only staying for a day since tomorrow, we fly out to Butuan, but hey, we're here, might as well make the most of it right?

We stayed in The Remington in Newport City. I don't know if that's the whole name or if it's just located in a place that sounds like it's from a Pokémon region. But it was a pretty okay hotel. Got some pretty pictures. Well, as pretty as this iPhone camera can get at least.

Paradox.

Waiting on the gravity shifts, Yusuf.

Definitely the biggest plus of the hotel was that it was literally right next to a MASSIVE mall. We went there after checking in and dropping all our stuff off in our room and I just PIGGED OUT on delicious Malaysian food. Fried rice with shallots, shrimp, scrambled egg, and fried chicken, JESUS that was delicious. Ended up hating myself for eating until I felt like food was trying to stab its way out of my stomach, but worth it. Definitely worth it.

Here's a few interesting pics I grabbed while I was at the mall.

The graphic but delicious carnage happening
at the Malaysian restaurant.

Yeah I missed multiflavored popcorn in America.

Hey how you doin little mama let me whisper
in your ear...

Later, briefly talked to Mico, my one handed cousin, ate at McDonald's (they have chicken and rice here and it is DELICIOUS) and fell asleep.

RFotD: It takes about 15 minutes to upload these entries from my phone as a draft. It takes 5 more minutes to edit the entries on my tablet.

SGAT: Vacations have no goals, boy.

Day Fifty-One: Korea!

8/3/14, 12:06 PM PDT

(Another mobile update, so the formatting may be a little weird. Updates are still way too much work for me to put out on a regular basis until I can find an actual computer, I'm sorry guys.)

We boarded the plane. And it was SO BEAUTIFUL. We only bought economy class tickets because we're frugal Asian people, but the stuff they had available for the economy class was still AMAZING.

They had the normal stuff that's on pretty much every plane. They had a screen and a cute little remote to control it with that you could pull out.

It's so fancy. But you already know.

On the back of the remote, they had game buttons, a tiny joystick, and a qwerty keyboard, which I thought was pretty cool.

Innovation!

But the real selling points of this place? The BUILT-IN USB PORT FOR YOUR CHARGING CONVENIENCE.

GENIUS!

Or how about this COAT HANGER? I don't even know how the hell it's supposed to work, but shit, it's THERE.

What will the Germans think of next?

And the pièce de resistance: A FOLDING CUP HOLDER ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE FOLDING TRAY.

HOLY

HELL.

So after the plane took off, I decided to play around with the thing. Or at least, I tried to. I accidentally picked "Korean" as my language when I first booted up my screen and the settings menu was all in Korean so I had no idea how to change it back. I asked the guy next to me and he helped me change it back to English. Shoutouts to you, cool Korean dude.

No problem, equally cool Filipino kid.

Listened to some interesting Korean music by an artist who called himself "Bump of Chicken." His music's pretty interesting, the album I listened to kinda reminded me of Anamanaguchi mixed with the new Rainbow Road song in Mario Kart 8, which is nice. Hear for yourself.

Orrrr just look it up on YouTube,  my phone is being horrible again. Sorry kids.

My sister also got this ADORABLE Pororo the Penguin thing for being a kid in the airplane.

I ended up asking the flight attendants for another one of those because the Pororo case also doubles as a wonderful tablet case. Or at least, a hell of a lot better than the old pillowcase that I used as a substitute.

After a largely restless flight, we landed in Incheon Airport, which I think is on Seoul. Arrived at around 4  AM local time, so everything in the airport was still closed. The place, save for the handful of people that slept overnight waiting for their connecting flights, was largely empty.

It's so... quiet.

ALLLLLL BYYYY MYYYSEEEIEEEEELF.

But we stuck around for awhile, so we got to see some of the places open. Here's a few of the pictures I took while I was there.

I didn't know they opened a coffee shop in your
name, Samantha.

Coincidentally, Weenie Beeny was my nickname in
grade school.

Everything here is so small.

Pretty sign. I think.

This is how robot apocalypses begin.

We found a few theme shops too, which looked cute when they were open...

Or at least, half open.

Charlie Brown does the worst hover hands.

Bonjour chat!

Cats don't appreciate couches made of the flesh of
their fellow kin.

Very pretty, no?

...But pretty damn creepy when they were closed.

Pray that these metal bars hold, mortal.

The great pumpkin king knows all.

We decided to eat in the airport's food court. It's very pretty.

Sparkly.

And it had a Burger King too!

Your move, McDonalds.

And of course, the first thing they played when the TVs in the food court started working was their national anthem.

No right hands over hearts here. Only
invisible horse rides.

Ate some nice, authentic, homestyle, Korean cuisine. I don't know what the Korean text read, but the English translation was "KFC."

Notice the lack of fingers, mind you.

Soon, we boarded our flight. I watched The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and Captain America: The Winter Soldier, both of which were awesome movies.

Oh, and for future reference, I have to download the Pacific Rim OST at some point. The airplane had it as one of its music options and it makes EVERYTHING sound incredibly dramatic. It made the airplane landing seem like it was deciding the fate of the multiverse, it made eating airplane food seem like a battle between my Jaeger gums and the Kaiju broccoli beef, and it made my sister's kicks to my leg while she slept seem like crushing moments of defeat.

Plus the fact that this exists further strengthens my point.

RFotD: I wanted to snap my tablet in half a few times while writing this.

SGAT