Day Four: Creative Writing Club Banquet 2015

6/19/15, 11:43 PM PDT

After months of procrastinating, we finally had our Creative Writing Banquet. And even though we had over 350 dollars to burn, instead of doing something crazy like burn it all on Tracy's Kitchen Sink at Sloan's or watch something at Cinepolis, we decided on a humble little beach banquet.

Unfortunately, I was vying for a different venue.

In order to accoomodate the 15 or so club members we have, Samantha and I decided to leave early for the beach to secure a spot with a lot of room for us to sprawl out. So we left at 8 AM, which is still ridiculously early for any teenager to be waking up during summer. A quick Vons run to buy ice and sodas and stuff and then we were on our merry way.



I brought a tent with me because we knew it was gonna be ridiculously hot and we wanted some shade. It took about an hour to set up because I haven't used the tent in years and it came with no instructions and Sam and I are IDIOTS when it comes to assembling stuff. But eventually, we got it. One nice, innocent-looking, dinky little tent in the middle of an overcast, 9 AM sky.

It looks more pathetic in person, trust me.

Sam and I knew that it was gonna get pretty sunny today, and we were not interested in developing some kind of UV-induced skin cancer because of a club banquet, so we applied a LOT of sunscreen. A lot of it.

Or she's just trying to camouflage herself as a member
of the Jake Boring tribe, I'm not sure.

We pretty much slept in the tent until other people showed up. And since no one else showed up until a few hours later, we had a LOT of time to nap, which was wonderful.

Phoenix, Victoria, and Mama Gwen came at around noon (For today's post, Gwen will be called Mama Gwen because she came wearing a big old pair of sunglasses and read on her Nook all day while we did whatever).

"Oh don't worry, kiddies, you just run along on the beach,
mommy's just gonna be reading her Cosmopolitan articles!"

Angela, Kayla, Christina, Alex and Grant came at 4, and that's when the real party began. Not because those four were any more fun than Phoenix, Gwen, and Victoria. It's because the sun stopped being lethal at 4.

No longer would this be our fate.

We did a LOT of stuff at the beach, some of which you had to be there to full appreciate, so let me just go through some of the highlights.

Alex found a few pieces of charcoal on the ground, so he decided to give us all tribal face paint.

Angela, satisfied after a successful pillaging session.

I couldn't decide if I liked this picture....

Or this picture better.

Victoria's just sick of me taking pictures all the time.

Sam and I ended up looking like sad clowns because of how much sunscreen we had on our faces.

Sam also became a Pikmin today, I forgot to tell you
about that.

Alex also drew a vagina on my chest.

If you squint, it kinda looks like a pistachio.

This war paint was incredibly timely because an hour or so after, we found A LIVE CRAB ON THE BEACH.

Taste like crab...
(via Kayla)

Talk like people.
(via Kayla)

We praised the return of our lord and savior...

If you don't accept him into your life, then you're a bit shellfish hehehehehe.
(via Kayla)

Please accept our humble sacrifices, my lord.
(via Kayla)

We tried to summon a Mexican Demon again.

Imagine a handful of war-paint covered kids doing this in the middle
of the goddamn beach and you'll see how crazy we looked doing this.
(via Kayla)

But in the end, we figured out that it was probably dying. So, in order to spare our crabby overlord, we decided to release it gently back to the ocean, where it can leave a long and prosperous life, free from our meddling, mortal hands.

The exact moment that Alex "gently released it" into the wild.
(via Kayla)

Afterwards, Phoenix, Sam and I decided to embark upon a death march to the big old pier waaaaay in the distance. Why? Because Sam said that yesterday, she saw the mythical Sea Dick over there.

Imagine this, but underwater.
(via dickssportinggoods.com)

The entire way there, we decided to play Say The Same Thing as a group (even though you're supposed to do it as a pair activity). If you don't know what that game is, then here's OKGO with an explanation as to how it works.

We never really got it since there was three of us. We got close, and I absolutely BLEW IT when the words were "Berkeley" and "Valedictorian" and I DIDN'T SAY JIHUI.

Whatever, I'm human. I make mistakes. Have some pretty pictures I got of the walk to the rocks and back.

The pier we were talking about.

I love the silhouetted, infinite staircase look.

Rocks are normally pretty boring, but golden hour rocks... Whole
different story.

Phoenix decided to be adventurous and climb onto the rocks for a photoshoot. So we obliged.

Phoenix, making a really shitty number 4.

Phoenix, finally achieving Nirvana.

This isn't Phoenix, we just found of the extras for Planet of the Apes.

"Oh you!"

Unfortunately, during the shoot, Phoenix had a horrible, HORRIBLE accident that left her absolutely mangled and broken.

This content may be disturbing to our younger viewers.

She got better though.

"Yeah, just let me realign my spine..."

"All good."

I got a REALLY good silhouette shot of the two of them on the walk back.

I wish that bridge wasn't jutting out of Phoenix's neck though.

And we also found this very welcoming place on the beach.

Oh! I'm late! I'm late!

We decided to step closer.

The Sasquach shadows weren't there when I took this photo...

And we looked inside.

Dark. Deep. Inhospitable. Like your mom.

And Phoenix, the crazy daredevil she is, decided to enter.

Jesus Christ.

This was the last we saw of her.

She went so deep that we couldn't see her anymore. After a few minutes, we thought we heard the sound of bones crunching, but I mean Phoenix came back out looking a little dead in the eyes but otherwise perfectly fine, so we just shrugged it off.

That's not a Phoenix...

Oh and we eventually did find the Sea Dick.

"It's not yellow and soft anymore!" - Sam, 2015

When we got back, we had a big old water gun fight, courtesy of Phoenix's personal armory. Kayla got some fantastic shots of us, until I accidentally got her camera wet because of my shit aim.

"You talkin to me? You talking to me?!"
(via Kayla)

We may have gotten a little too crazy in this game.

Or maybe it was just me.
(via Kayla)

Yeah, definitely just me.

Imagine this, but running at you at 100 miles per hour. I would shit myself.
(via Kayla)

We got some pretty awesome shots because it was sunset too. Sam and I particularly enjoyed acting like badasses with out water guns.

"You did good, Jim. You did good."
(via Kayla)

It's blurry notbecause of how great our relationship is, it's from Kayla's camera.
(via Kayla)

Pictured: Acting like badasses.
(via Kayla)

Meanwhile, Phoenix looks into the distance.

"I wish I could surf shirtless like that guy too..." sigh
(via Kayla)

And a nice Creative Writing Club group shot to close the day.

Great day, guys. Great day.
(via Kayla)

RFotD: In order to be the Creative Writing Club president for the 2015-2016 year, you must have attended at least one banquet.

Day One: Runaway Dog

6/16/15, 10:47 PM PDT

Woke up at 7 AM today to drop Megan off at school. Even though we live a few feet from her school, it was decided that someone needed to accompany her on the long journey to the school to maintain her safety. Ironically, because I woke up early and cranky and didn't eat breakfast at the time, it was probably more dangerous for my zombified self to walk her to school.

Basically this morning.
(via cnet.com)

The only good thing about me waking up early today was the fact that I got to play fetch with this little guy for an hour.

Yes, that is my backyard. No, my family is not biologically white.
(via my dad)

Meet Mocha. He's cute. He's very smart. Very playful. And he's very furry.

Sounds an awful lot like my girlfriend oh damn!

We're dogsitting him for a few weeks and my sister and I fully intend on making the most of that time. We play fetch with him every day and we pet him and try to do things that use up his seemingly limitless supply of happy energy. Like just today, we went for a mile walk around the neighborhood (we would have went longer, but my sister's frail legs couldn't handle much more).

And at one point, Mocha almost escaped.

See that brown cotton-ball shaped thing in the picture above? That's his head. Or, more specifically, that's the fur around his head. His actual head (the part with the skull and stuff) is much, much, much smaller than that picture suggests.

Okay, so why am I mentioning this? Because at some point or another during that walk, he managed to SLIP HIS HEAD OUT OF HIS COLLAR.

It was just like a jailbreak. An adorable, adorable jailbreak.
(via gifbin.com)

Luckily, my sister and I had LIGHTNING FAST reflexes. We caught Mocha right before he was about to sprint into the street and we went straight up MIRA MESA POLICE DEPARTMENT on that dog. We tackled him into the grass and we wrestled that collar around his neck and we tightened it so it would never let Mocha go and it was totally, completely unnecessary.

A dramatization of the events that we went through.
(via cbssports.com)

I'm only kidding of course. Mocha, the nice little dog he is, didn't resist at all to putting the collar back on. He just stayed motionless, lying on the ground, patiently waiting for me to clumsily put his loose collar on so we could keep walking.

I love that dog.

A few other interesting things happened. The Skype group and I played Town of Salem, which is basically online Mafia, but with a Salem Witch Trials feel. Then Megan and I played Melee/Project M (which I only lost 50 stocks to her), and spent the majority of the remaining time planning out a little summer trip my family is going on. But where/what exactly that trip includes, I won't say. You'll just have to read it when it comes out in a month or two!

RFotD: In the four years I've known this dog, it has never failed to return the tennis ball when I throw it. Unless you know, you throw it some bullshit way, like behind something or underneath something.

Day Fifteen: A Fair-ly Fun Day

6/28/14, 4:24 PM PDT

Went to the Del Mar Fair with Angela, Christina, Brandon, and Kayla. I'm lucky too, I convinced my mom to let me go at pretty much the last possible minute.

I forgot how patriotic the trash cans at the fair were.

Earth's beautifulest country since 1776.

So immediately after entering the fair, guess who greets us?

George Harrison's not looking too good today...

We tried walking around them. See that guitarist guy in the front? Yeah, HE WALKED RIGHT NEXT TO US WHILE WE TRIED TO AVOID THEM. Christina was the first to spot him and she practically shat her pants when his creepy mask ended up inches from her face.

Oh, and you won't believe this, but we saw JAMIE HYNEMAN FROM THE MYTHBUSTERS. We ran to grab a picture with him, check it out!

Ignore the fact that I look worried in this picture.

We got there at around 10:15 and rides didn't open until 11, so since we had some time to kill, we decided to get picture-happy.

In this performance, I endorse cannibalism.

If you look at that palm tree, you'll see a ripe Christina, ready for picking.

From left to right: Me, Kayla, Angela.

Twice while walking, the people manning the game booths offered my group a free shot at that game where you try to keep a ball inside of a giant angled plastic bucket. I stepped up to the plate both times. The first time, I failed MISERABLY. I had three tosses and my first toss DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH THE BUCKET. Second one bounced out, but thankfully, the guy working at the time gave me a little tip to help my game: aim for the sides so that the ball doesn't bounce out. So I did that, the ball stayed in, and he didn't give me a prize because I needed to make it in the bucket twice.

Second time around, when a different guy gave us a free go, I already knew the game's little secret, so I got the ball to stay in the bucket the first time around. And even though he pulled out three balls, I didn't get to try two more times, so I still didn't get a prize.

Speaking of prizes, here were the more notable ones that I managed to take a picture of.

Nipple Pierced Penguinz!™

Knock down all three pins with one ball, win a little slice of FREEDOM.

Pretty soon, it was 11, which meant RIDES. The first one we went on was Alien Abduction. Basically a centrifugal force ride, where everyone lies around the circumference of a circle that spins really REALLY fast so that you stick to its walls. This thing, pretty much:

Imagine this, except only occupied by five screaming teenagers.
(via jazzwhiz.blogspot.com)

I swear, my throat almost collapsed on me during that ride because that thing spun around FAST. I remember Mr. Lawrence said that centrifugal force wasn't a real force waaaaay back in Freshman year, but I think my ribcage almost being crushed is evidence enough that centrifugal force is real.

Next, we went to Storm. Another spinny ride, which, in hindsight, was probably a BIG mistake since it was around this time that my head started hurting. But it was fun. Or at least, as fun as almost-accidental organ rupture can be.

Crazy Mouse next, followed by Bobsled. Thankfully, both weren't spinny rides, which was a nice break from the two crazy spinning rides that we went on so far. There was a guy on the microphone at the Bobsled ride that kept singing to the song that happened to be playing at the time, and when my group of four Asian people and one white girl found our bobsleds, guess what he said?

"Herro."

Followed quickly by

"I seeee you. Ooooooooooo, I see you toooo."

IN THE WORST ASIAN ACCENT I'VE EVER HEARD. It was SUPER racist, but I thought it was hilarious because of how bad his accent was.

I think this is what he thought we looked like.
(via hngn.com)

And then we went on the Orbiter.

Oh god.
(via wikipedia.org)

This entire thing spins. And each set of three chairs ALSO spins, angled at an axis PERPENDICULAR TO THE DIRECTION THAT THE REST OF THE RIDE IS SPINNING. That's... that's a lot of centrifugal force.

I think I almost fainted in this ride because midway through, while the ride was in full swing, I started feeling REALLY dizzy and my head felt really heavy and hard to hold up. Or I could just be a pussy and it could've been the natural feeling that the ride gives people. Either way, I managed to stay awake only because Christina's goddamn hair kept slapping my face when we spun around and it hit me like a WHIP every time. It hit my eyeball once and it felt like a tiny katana slicing through my retinas.

Lastly, Christina and Angela rode the big pendulum pirate ships that go side to side. They stayed at the very end of the ship. And they quickly realized how big of a mistake that was.

Look at that look of sheer horror in Angela's face. Or constipation.
Could be both.

All that took us until noon, so by the time we ran out of ride tickets, we were STARVING. Most of us bought hot dogs from this stand called "Pink's." They have a little gimmick where instead of giving you a number and calling out your number when your order is ready, they gave you the name of a celebrity instead. Look at the name I got.

I don't think they gave these names out randomly, they probably
just thought I was his stunt double. I don't blame them.

LOOK AT WHO CHRISTINA GOT.

Samantha, you feeling jealous yet?

After eating hot dogs, we bought a beautiful, beautiful funnel cake topped with strawberries and whipped cream, drizzled in chocolate syrup, and coated in powdered sugar. Absolute bliss. Didn't grab any pictures of the food, so just Google "funnel cake" and whichever one looks the most delicious was exactly what we got today.

Then we went over to the actual fair's theme building, where they had a big thing on The Beatles for display. They had a really cool "wish tree" where they let the fair visitors write their wishes on tags so that the workers could hang them on the tree at the end of the day.

Pretty.

Closeup. Look at how dense the tree is.

Here's what I wished for.

World peace can wait. I want Terminator feet.

And here's a few interesting ones that we found while looking at the tree.

AWWW YEAH.

Let me just take a picture of this with my... *ahem*
iPhone 5... (just kidding, mine's an iPhone 4)

This person needs to be President of the World.

Deep.

Poor Nodoxy. Good thing this ain't no Death Note.

We also tried to take an Abbey Road picture. But we couldn't find the actual Abbey Road, so we took this instead.

They won't notice... right?

Just kidding, we found it.

When we took this, we knew that everyone and their mother would be taking a picture just like this, so we wanted to make ours look different. And to do that, we had the genius idea of pretending that we tripped while walking on the road. But I reasoned that if we only pretended like we tripped, then it wouldn't really look like we tripped and no one would understand our picture.

So I suggest that we should all legitimately fall. And they agreed.

I told the cameraman to count to three as loud as he can and to snap the picture RIGHT AFTER he said three. We posed exactly like we were taking a normal Abbey Road picture, but on three, we all just HIT THE GROUND. I might have oversold my performance a little bit since I ended up shoving Christina as HARD AS I COULD into Angela and I ended with a dramatic little parkour roll when I fell on the concrete. I heard the crowd watching us all gasp in unison so I'm pretty sure they were impressed and/or aroused by my theatrics.

In hindsight, they probably thought we were stupid, but THAT'S OKAY. We got a pretty AWESOME picture from it, check it ou... oh wait, no. No we didn't.

The guy didn't take a picture of us when we fell.

Shit. Well at least we got this...

I mean I guess it's just as good...

Last thing we did was hit up the LIVESTOCK HELL YEAH BEST PART OF THE TRIP RIGHT HERE CHECK OUT THESE FOUR LEGGED THINGS.

HOTOT. OH GOD IT'S SO CUTE.

AWWWWWWWWWWWW IT'S SO FUZZY OH MY GOD.

THIS SHEEP HAS A BETTER HAIRSTYLE THAN ME. PLEASE TELL
ME WHO DOES YOUR HAIR, SHEEP FRIEND.

"Hey how you doin lil mama let me whisper in your ear..."

It likes me! Sheep number 00576 really likes me!

I also learned something today.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

When we left the fair, we decided to try and replicate the picture we took last year.

Hello, old bowlcut self.

Here are the results.

Oh how we change in one year. And also I didn't know when
Kayla's grandpa would take the picture.

Good trip, good trip.

Thank you for asking, LSDtopus!

RFotD: Sheep have smaller brains now than they did 12,000 years ago.

SGAT: None really. But I don't regret not working today.