Day Fifty-Nine: A Fun Flight, A Not-So-Fun Landing

8/13/15, 9:23 AM PDT

Today, we finally leave Europe. It's a bittersweet sort of feeling. On one hand, Europe has been an AMAZING experience with a lot of sights, food, experiences, and especially food, so I'm definitely gonna miss it. But on the other hand, I can't wait to hang out with my friends again, so I'm pretty glad that I'm leaving.

It was a nine-hour flight from Barcelona to our first transfer, which was Atlanta, Georgia. There were a few things notable about the flight. One, their in-flight safety video was pretty funny.

(This next one wasn't the one we had on our flight, but I found it while looking for the one we had and it is also very funny)

And two, their in-flight film library was ENORMOUS. I decided to watch three films, which were The Imitation Game, Slumdog Millionaire, and, my favorite, Assassination Classroom.

Just reading the synopsis makes me excited.

I'm not gonna lie, Assassination Classroom has a VERY weird concept. Basically it's about a yellow octopus-like creature with ridiculous superpowers that decides to teach a classroom of middle school failures how to become assassins before destroying the earth at the end of the school year if they don't kill him by then.

Yeah, it's weird. But I absolutely LOVED it. It was really funny, had surprisingly decent CGI, was over the top, and ended with the promise that there would be a SEQUEL, which I am very excited for. You can take a look at the trailer here, if you like:

Now, on a different note, let me tell you about the migraine that is the Atlanta International Airport. We were only here to wait for a transfer, but for some stupid reason, we had to get the luggages we checked in to the flight from the airport just to recheck them in after we got them. Why do we have to do this? Why can't they just take the bags themselves and put it on our transfer flight, like every other airport does automatically?

And before you say "Oh, Michael! You're overreacting, it's only one tiny baggage recheck, that's not a brain hemorrhage waiting to happen!"

Except we never got our luggage from the carousel. So we couldn't recheck in our bags because WE NEVER GOT THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE. And the airport staff were absolutely no help either, whenever we asked them they would interrupt us by saying "Oh, just wait for them at the carousel, they'll show up eventually." EXCEPT THE CONVEYOR BELT ISN'T MOVING FOR OUR CAROUSEL ANYMORE. So when we got that message through, they'd say "Okay, then just go to LAX without your bags and they'll probably be there when you arrive."

Probably. Probably. Oh so if we do go and they don't end up being there, we're just dead, huh? The bags are stuck in Atlanta forever.

We asked several other people and NONE OF THEIR ANSWERS WERE THE SAME. Some people suggested looking at other carousels to see if they got mixed up, which we did, in vain. Some recommended going to our airline at this airport and filing a baggage claim, which we couldn't do because our connecting flight was leaving in 20 minutes and the line looked like it was moving slower than the earth's tectonic plates. And some just gave us a "Sorry, but I don't know what else to tell you" which I guess was the best thing they could have said because at least they were being honest.

So we eventually flew to LAX, landed at 9PM, waited in their luggage carousel, and lo and behold, our bags weren't there. So we filed a baggage claim and after the hour long line, you know what happened to our bags?

They got put on a DIFFERENT FLIGHT. So Delta promised us that they'd fly them over to San Diego's airport and deliver them to our door tomorrow morning.

Hopefully they follow up on that promise.




RFotD: Yes, they did deliver on that promise, thankfully.

Day Fifty-Eight: Fucking Grass

8/12/15, 8:12 PM CET

Today, we ran out of swipes for our public transport card, so we couldn't explore the city further. However, we felt like we covered a TON of the city anyway, so we were very happy to take today as a rest day.

We did walk around our hotel to see what was nearby though. And apparently, this whole time we had a hotel that was RIGHT NEXT TO FC BARCELONA'S FOOTBALL STADIUM.

Hmm... their stadium looks a little bit... messi. Heh.

So of course, we went in. Or at least, we went into the only thing accessible on non-sports days, which was the gift shop. And, as expected from one of the most valuable, popular sports teams in the world, the interior of the FC Barcelona Megastore was incredible.

If you stand in the correct place, those things hanging from the ceiling
look like Messi's kicking foot. This is true.

Remember my trip to FC Bayern's stadium and how I said the level of fandom there was ridiculous? Turns out, fandom bordering on creepy obsession is common in European sports teams. Especially when they sell this:

Grass. FUCKING GRASS. Seriously, I mean what would you even do with it? Plant it in your backyard? Shit, maybe if you cultivate it enough, you'll grow your own Suarez, right?

And if it's not crazy enough, they also have miniature versions in magnets that you can stick right on your fridge.

Then again, if you think this is a good purchase, your
fridge is probably already shaped like Messi's face.

Ridiculous.






RFotD: I'm not actually angry, I think this stuff is hilarious, truthfully.

Day Fifty-Seven: Wok'ing Around Town

8/11/15, 12:23 PM CET

Today is my dad's birthday! In celebration of that fact, we decided to just relax and take it easy so it would be a low stress, low navigation kind of day.

Just kidding. We went everywhere. First up was Spain's Arc de Triomf.

Complete with unappreciative hipster man on the lower left corner.

For my readers familiar with la culture française, you'd recognize the similarities between that arch and the one in Paris. And you're right. They are very similar.

That's honestly all the city guide said about the arch. I don't know if they're connected or if they'll eventually turn into stargates, I have no clue.

Shrugs

We also visited a MASSIVE Gothic Cathedral that they had here.

Damn, look at those fractals.

Even from that wide shot, you can see the ridiculous intricacy of the architecture.

At this point, I think every blog post I have on Spain has contained the word
"architecture" somewhere.

It didn't really have a badass name like the Notre Dame or anything, it was only called the "Gothic Cathedral," even in the city signs. But it's still very fancy.

Incredibly, they had LCD screens at the time this was constructed.

Later that night, we ate at a delicious Asian buffet called "Wok."

This restaurant was across from our hotel, so since we didn't have to go far, we
just... wok'd.

The buffet wasn't that great compared to buffets in California though. They had sushi, but they only allowed you to take FIFTEEN PIECES per eating session. Which kind of sucked. But we still left with full bellies, so it was still worth it.

Happy 50th birthday, dad! You're a ripe old age now, but it's been fun having you as my dad for the past 18 years. Here's to many, many more years!




RFotD: My dad says he is 50 years old every time I ask him, so I'm not sure if he really is 50 this time or if he's just lying to me again.

Day Fifty-Six: Barcelona Life Is A Beach

8/10/15, 11:10 PM CET

Spain has so much gorgeous architecture that we basically have to stop every few seconds to take pictures of it all. It's a good thing that our main mode of transportation is the subway, else my camera would literally be full from all the pictures I take.

This wasn't even a landmark or anything, it was just awesome-looking.

One of the more prominent architectural marvels in the city, however, is the National Art Museum in Catalunya. And for good reason. It is MASSIVE.

See this? This is from A MILE AWAY. (Approximately)

This was the closest I could get while still getting all of its architecture in the shot.

The view from said building is magnificent.

Architecture as far as the eye can see...

Tell you what though, these Spanish people are a bunch of wannabes. Look at them and their blatant ripoff of my college's Janss Steps.

Biters.

We also visited the Olympic Park that they had. It wasn't as pretty as the one in Munich, in my opinion, but it is still very very nice.

With a public foot dipping station too! Wow!

I think my favorite thing about their Olympic Park was this AWESOME trippy space needle-like thing that looked like it could be straight out of a sci-fi dystopia film.

Complete with giant alien traffic cones too. Oooooooh, spooky.

When the sun started getting less hot, we decided to get on this thing called a funicular. Basically a slanted trolley thing designed to take you up steep slopes, it's hard to describe but if you've ever seen The Grand Budapest Hotel, it's the pink thing that takes the people to the hotel.

The pink thing in the center of the frame.

From there, we briefly looked at a Spanish fort they had...

Proof that I mean "my family" when I say "we," I'm not just roaming Spain solo.

Looks like a sandcastle made with those rectangular buckets from Target.

Then rode the gondola...

Gondola, cable car, I'm never really sure what to call these things.

All the way to their beach!

Perfect timing for golden hour too!

Every shot of the beach I got is a shot that I absolutely LOVE. Look at this!

Look at that glow, man.

Vague silhouettes are gorgeous.

We ate at that restaurant, it was actually not that deliciosa.

Good night, Barcelona!

If there's one thing I can say about Spanish beaches, it is that their sand is INCREDIBLE. It's clumpy and lumpy, but still somehow manages to feel incredibly soft and silky to step on. It's interesting, definitely.

Sorry I'm cutting these entries pretty short, I'm in a rush to catch up on entries right now, BUT for good reason. I have a little special something that's more career oriented for me that'll require a bit more time, but I'll disclose information on that later!





RFotD: ALMOST CAUGHT UP. Writing this as of August 16 and I am ALMOST DONE.

Day Fifty-Five: Paella, Tibidabo, And A Soylent Snack

8/9/15, 11:20 PM CET

If you asked me what a "Tibidabo" is prior to today, I would have thought it was a kind of Japanese snack, or a Filipino meat covered in vinegar and soy sauce. But nope, neither are correct. Tibidabo is actually the name of a HUGE amusement park, situated at the top of one of Barcelona's mountains.

Pretty, huh?

This place is AMAZING. They had some pretty awesome rides, including this little spinning plane ride that goes OVER THE MOUNTAINSIDE. You can see it on the right side of the picture above. 

They also had a Ferris Wheel...

Wonder if it ever takes a day off.

And, strangely, the entire thing was right next to a very large church called the Sagrat Cor, or the Sacred Heart.

The big thing on the left.

Later on in the day, we also tasted a Spanish staple: paella! Essentially, it's fried rice mixed with sauce and a BUNCH of seafood, and it is DELICIOUS.

It took 20 minutes to prepare, which sounds like a long time until you actually see it:

The rice is hidden beneath the layer of sauce around the seafood.

Yes, it was the most amazing thing I've eaten. The bowl that it came on was MASSIVE, but my entire family still managed to finish it.

Well, most of it, at least.

\
We also visited Park Guell today. It's a relatively large park, with some more nice architecture from the very creative Antoni Gaudi, which you saw in yesterday's post. Here's a few pictures that I grabbed!

I especially loved the look of that tower over there, so of course...

Golden Hour Joby looks amazing. Or it might be incorrect white balance
Joby, I'm not sure.

And to end today, here's a pretty disturbing candy bar that I found in a shop on the way home.

Manufacutured by the Soylent Corporation, Philippines Division.

RFotD: Filipinos also come in milk and dark chocolate flavors. Allegedly, they are named because they have a brown outer layer and a white inner layer.

Day Fifty-Four: A Church 200 Years In The Making

8/8/15, 11:10 PM CET

When a city tour by bus takes FOUR HOURS to complete and requires two separate routes, you know that there is a lot of stuff to do in Barcelona. And it doesn't even stop at all of the tourist locations for us to take pictures of them, it just passes through them so you know what they look like. And it STILL took four hours.

It was nice that they didn't stop specifically for all the monuments though. I think the day tour was nice just to see what exactly we can see in Barcelona. I didn't get a lot of pictures, but from this tour, we know exactly which places we have to visit in the coming few days.

We did see something today though, the beautiful Sagrada Familia, a massively mathematical church in Barcelona, a few hundred years in the making. Even in 1886, the main architect, Antoni Gaudi knew that the church wouldn't be finished during his lifetime, so he meticulously described and modeled what he wanted the church to look like and expected future generations to pick up where he left off. Even today, it still isn't done (it's set to be finished at around 2026), but what has been finished is INCREDIBLE.

Yes, just as I suspected. This church is much larger than my monkey.

The inside of the church had beautiful stain glass windows that made the entire church light up in color. The pillars were intentionally designed to be like fractal trees, complete with a canopy-like roof, and Gaudi put SO MUCH detail and symbolism in every aspect of the church that even I felt more spiritual just by being in it, and I'm not even that religious of a person. It really is a beautiful church, and that's coming from a person that felt nothing when he saw the Notre Dame.

The pictures really don't do it justice, like most of the things in the world that are brilliant, but I took some anyway.

I absolutely LOVE the stain glass in here.

More on the multicolored stain glass on the walls.

Everything is so beautiful.

RFotD: If you look up more pictures of Sagrada Familia online, you'll probably find better shots.

Day Fifty-Three: Cobblestone Hell

8/7/15, 8:23 PM CET

Today was yet another transportation day, the final one for this vacation. We traveled from Lucerne to Zurich via bullet train, then from Zurich, we flew out to the very beautiful (and very hot!) airport of España.

That means Spain, for you non-Spanish speakers. I think.

As always, during the trip, we designate the day we arrive to a country as a rest day, where we just relax, briefly walk around the hotel to see where we could buy food and supplies, and plan for what we're gonna do in the country.

Today, however, was not a rest day. Today was exhausting, strenuous, physical labor day. And all because a subway station didn't have an elevator.

So our vacation is for four weeks, and since my family hates laundry with a passion, we decided to avoid it by bringing along enough clothes to last us 30 days without ever having to deal with bleach, detergent, or missing socks ever again. That of course, meant we'd have to bring very large, heavy luggage bags to store it all. Heavy bags which we would have to bring from the airport to our hotel.

On prior trips, this wasn't a huge issue because public transportation was very wheelchair-friendly and the roads were smooth enough that our bags wouldn't vibrate up and down like an Amsterdam masseuse with a really, really good client.

In Spain, however, we were plagued with both cobblestone streets, and the fact that the subway station we had to go to not only had no working elevators in sight, but also happened to be TEN KILOMETERS UNDERGROUND.

So to get to the hotel, we had to drag four suitcases, each weighting approximately three humpback whales each, across sixty miles of stone pavements specifically designed by 18th century Spanish masons to ensure that our luggage bag wheels would sound as much as an AK-47 on full auto as possible, before finally reaching the subway station. Then, we'd have to carry the bags, which combined have the weight of one Christina, down the literal seven circles of hell, climbing down at least 50 stories worth of staircases before finally reaching the trains.

Yeah. We're exhausted. But our lord and savior Booking.com saw our struggles, and rewarded our persistence by granting us the Elixir of Comfort, which today, took the form of an AMAZING HOTEL ROOM.

(Me being the moron I am, forgot to take these pictures, so just imagine that we had a hotel room with these things:

LOOK AT OUR KITCHEN.

WOW!

AND OUR BEDS.

Amazing!

AND OUR DUELLING TOILETS SETUP.

So you can share even your most intimate moments with your s/o.

RFotD: We really did have a kitchen in our hotel room and it was fantastic.

Day Fifty-Two: A (Nice?) Lake Cruise

8/6/15, 9:34 PM CET

Today was a very very boring day. We visited this famous church with two pretty looking peaks on it:

Some may even describe it as a church with... twin peaks. (I hope you're
reading this, Angela)

And then we took a lakeside cruise. I got a few pictures from that too:

God, every picture with Swiss mountains looks AMAZING.

More mountains, ft. boat passengers.

And of course, Joby was there as well.

But that cruise was AWFUL. As pretty as the views were, the cruise lasted three hours and, unknowingly for us, it's actually not a tourism boat, it's another MODE OF TRANSPORTATION. This was a PASSENGER BOAT, and since we didn't really want to leave on a random stop in the middle of Switzerland, we had to stick around for the whole three hour circuit. Surrounded by the armpit-like odor of very sweaty passengers.

It was pretty bad so we went home and just absolutely passed out.





RFotD: I was not in a very happy mood when I wrote this :(

Day Fifty-One: Chocolate Factory!

8/5/15, 11:20 PM CET

Did you know that Lucerne used to be covered by a glacier hundreds of years ago? Well, it was. And the only remnants of the glacier now are the very intricate carvings it left on some of the bedrock in Lucerne, some of which we got to see in the appropriately-named Glacier Museum.

Woo! Geology!

...Yeah, a museum entirely about glaciers rocks sounds really boring. And it kinda was. I mean the science is cool, but when the museum is largely just pictures with a bunch of text, it becomes about as fun as reading a textbook. Which is to say, that it isn't much fun.

Thankfully, it wasn't exclusively about rocks and ice. They also had an AMAZING mirror room, which, although completely unrelated to glaciers, was still my favorite part about the glacier museum. Check out these really trippy photos I got while in there. For added confusion, try to figure out which people are real and which are reflections.

Don't worry if you can't do it, my mom couldn't either, and she was
actually there.

Yeah, I am one of those people that use the viewfinder to take pictures.
Don't judge.

I don't know why, but my sister looks like she's Angelina Jolie on the poster for
Mr. And Mrs. Smith.

Things got especially trippy when we reached the end of the maze, where they had a bunch of really tiny mirrors that show off just how cool of a look you could get with a few mirrors.

I like this one a lot because of the lights in the background.

I think this is my favorite picture though:

I call it "Joby in Space."

At one point, Megan actually ran into a mirror believing that it was a passable hallway and it was pretty funny because she was saying something like "It's this way!" but she got interrupted mid sentence by her reflection, which was pretty funny.


Also, the plot of land that the museum is on includes part of a mountain. They had a little wooden tower built on the top of the mountain as a viewpoint, so we climbed it. And the view was SPECTACULAR.

Seriously, it's AMAZING. It looks like it's straight out of a painting.

Afterwards, we decided to explore our inner Charlies and pay a visit to a real Swiss chocolate factory!

Unfortunately, Johnny Depp was not there to greet us.

Initially, I thought their mascot was really creepy. Look at this brown, almondy bastard:

The "A" on his hat actually stands for "asshole," not "Aeschbach."

...But after the entire tour and seeing him literally EVERYWHERE in the factory, I grew to love the guy. And so did Joby.

Awwwwwwwwww.

"It's almost adorable how ugly he is." -Samantha, when talking about me.

The actual factory was awesome too, except for the fact that I probably got diabetes from all the FREE CHOCOLATE WE GOT DURING THE TOUR. They outlined every step of the chocolate making process, as well as the differences between types of chocolate (largely determined by the ratios of cocoa cake/cocoa butter/sugar used in making them), and after every step they showed, they had stations for FREE CHOCOLATE. I especially liked it when they let us sample their white chocolate, since that's the chocolate I like the most. But my favorite chocolate dispensing method they had wasn't the free chocolate fountain with customizable toppings nor was it the Skinner Box-esque dispenser of small chocolate cubes, it was this hot piece of ass.

Little do you know, the back of this donkey actually has a cutout of Olivia
Wilde's face.

You see, when you press the green button on his face, something magical happens. Doctors would almost call it miraculous. And if you see it yourself, you'd definitely be inclined to agree with them.

That's right, they have a DONKEY THAT VOMITS CHOCOLATE COINS IN THE FACTORY AND IT'S AMAZING. We came at a time where there was literally no one else in the factory, and since the donkey dispensed a coin EVERY TIME, we decided to exploit it and get a BILLION of these things.

Actually, it was more like thirteen gold and silver coins, but nevertheless, it's a lot of free chocolate.


My sister and I also got to make and decorate our own chocolate, which basically involved pouring melted chocolate into a mold and putting toppings on it before it hardened. Here was my sister's chocolate bar:

Colorful, melty goodness.

And here's mine:

Uhhh...?

I think it's quite obvious who the more artistic one is here.


We ended the tour with a picture on this massive stack of chocolate coins:

And by "we" I mean Joby.

And we FINALLY wrapped up the day by exploring the sights that nighttime Lucerne had in store for us. Take a look at my pics:

Every day, we ate at the lakeside of Lucerne, and every day, we loved it.

Switzerland is amazing.

RFotD: Switzerland would be even more amazing if the stuff there wasn't so expensive.