Quick little breakfast at the hotel, then head to Six Flags. Well, technically, Hurricane Harbor.
Ignore my sister posing. |
Took FOREVER to find a spot because everyone and their mother had the same idea to go here in the middle of summer. We eventually did, after some negotiation with a massive family of 6. First stop? The lazy river with my sister.
The water was incredibly warm and refreshing, although the bits of plants and foliage floating along was pretty annoying too. Very relaxing, I spent a good chunk of my time just lying on my back, cruising down the river.
Until I saw a bird swoop right above the water and stealth-bomb the water with a large blob of poop. The lazy river pretty much lost all its appeal from then on.
After that, I went on the huge waterslides. And I realized something. You're not paying to ride the slides here. You're paying to wait in lines and occasionally be rewarded by slides. Don't get me wrong, the slides are AWESOME. They almost make up for the fact that most of the time I spent here was either waiting in line or sprinting barefoot across the searing hot cement. I swear, my feet are both cooked medium-well from this visit.
But out of all 46 billion slides of this park, only two are worth mentioning. Lightning Falls and Venom Drop. Lightning Falls is an open-top slide where you sit on a large inner tube to slide down. But it's not the only inner tube slide, so why am I mentioning it? Simple. Because I almost fricking DIED on this one. A few seconds after coming out of the starting area, my inner tube spins 180 and I'm going down the slide back first. Of course, being me, I didn't really like the fact that I can't see where I'n going, so I try to throw my legs to the left to get a better view of the front. I pull it off, but with HORRIBLE timing. I managed to do it as my tube approached a curve and the added momentum of my legs managed to launch me a LOT higher up the guard wall than usual. Typically, the curves of water slides have taller walls to prevent you from falling out, but even then, my tube managed to touch the TOP of the wall. I thought I was gonna fall off and almost shat myself right there. But I made it out in one piece, obviously.
And Venom Drop? Eh, it's okay, I guess. It's just a 75-foot open-ceiling water slide. No curves. Just a straight shot down. No big deal.
After that, went back to our little spot near the kiddie pools, which, at the time of my arrival, were closed because a large goose walked up to the pool and disposed its solid waste right in the middle of the pool. Heh. Bought a delicious, delicious funnel cake. First time eating those things and my GOD, do I regret not trying them earlier. They're SO GOOD. Cake bits, whipped cream, and strawberries, all sprinkled with powdered sugar. Diabetes has never tasted so delicious.
Later, when I was drying off in the changing room, some white guy next to me decides to get butt-naked in the open which made for an INCREDIBLY AWKWARD situation for me. I tried to just ignore the pale, cratered moon staring right at me. I really did.
But then he farted. I could tell he tried to make it silent, but he failed and a tiny ounce of noise escaped. And I heard it. And it was pointed at me.
I just left. Right there, right then.
Same day, 7:23 PM PDT
You thought I was kidding about the geese? Well I'm not. And for proof, look at this picture.
"The humans are leaving. Assimilate leftover snacks." |
THE PARK PEOPLE JUST LET THEM WALK THROUGH LIKE IT'S NOTHING. It's actually pretty awesome except for the fact that they leave disgusting green bricks everywhere.
And the park looks very pretty in the sunset.
I know it's not Hurricane Harbor. Shut up. |
Same day, 10:43 PM PDT
Nothing interesting so far. Slept in the car and played SSB for the most part. Ate at Denny's, now driving to a hotel waaaaay in the distance.
RFotD: According to SSB tier lists, Pikachu is the strongest character due to a fantastic recovery and great edgeguarding ability.
SGAT: None really.
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