Mushrooms and Summer Days: Day Eighteen: Societal Collapse, We Design Costumes

7/3/15, 11:38 PM PDT

If you want evidence that our society is slowly degrading, I believe that you need not look further than your local mall. I mean how else could you explain thrift shops, 99 cent stores, and Hot Topic?

This is the end.
(via shopinternationalplaza.com)

I decided to embark upon a quest to investigate America's slow but tenacious societal decline, aided by my confederates, Angela, Christina, and Kayla. Here are some of the things we found.

Exhibit A: The tote bag designed to convert people into sexual deviants.

They're not even concerned about the spread of STIs that could result
from kissing random strangers. Awful, awful.

Exhibit B: The expletive shirt obviously marketed towards small children.

They're trying to get the kids to use improper language
at an early age. Disgusting.

Exhibit C: The baby bib designed to brainwash children into objectifying women at an early age.

Spencer's one goal in life is to ensure every baby in the US
becomes a walking, ticking sexual assault waiting to happen.

Exhibit D: The complete inability of the American Education System to teach our students basic astronomy.

Does this "Paper Towns" person not know that
galaxies are smaller than universes?

Exhibit E: The complete inability of the American Education System to teach our students basic English.

Either that or they're encouraging statutory rape. America makes me sick.

Exhibit F: This thing.

I actually don't know how this is indicative of societal decline, but god
damn is this purse ugly.

There may be some hope, however. Because in the midst of all the horrible noise, we managed to unearth at least some promise.

We found cool Pokémon hats.

I would have bought one, but then I realized that
I'm too big of a loser to wear Snapbacks in public.

And a nice little BMO backpack.

It's reversible too!

And THIS AWESOME THING.

HYAAAAH!

It's a shield, but it's ALSO A BACKPACK.

WOW! INCREDIBLE!

A cute little Pokéball pendant...

I like the little jagged cut in the middle, it looks nice.

...That's actually designed for you and your significant other.

I think the one Sam and I have is way better though.

And, of course, this thing. Parmesan and garlic giga fries

I was completely wrong. America is totally fine.

At some point, while waiting in line at H&M we got to talking about dressing up for Comic Con. One thing led to another and now, we're making SUPER AWESOME last-minute costumes.

Try and guess what we are based on the following pictures.