Hey guys! Sorry for the lack of updates, but with the VFX weeklies I'm doing and how often I'm out of the house, it's pretty hard to find time to blog every single day. I might just transition to doing these in big chunks so that the "Boring" tag doesn't get exhausted.
So first of all, I finished another VFX weekly!
That was my first time working with 3D and I have to say, I'm pretty happy with the results. You can see some flaws, like how the light from the buildings near the end of the video sprawl out onto the mountain and the light leak from near the lake, but other than that, I'm very happy with the results.
I also got my driver's license! FINALLY. My driving examiner really reminded my of an Italian version of Dennis Nedry from Jurassic Park, and he was kinda rude sometimes (especially in the beginning of the drive) but it didn't matter since today my brain decided to be a decent driver and I passed anyway.
After that, a BUNCH of stuff happened. We went to Viet's birthday party and played hilarious games of Spyfall and heads up, then the next day Sam and I volunteered for the San Diego Film Festival and tailgated the Taylor Swift concert, and then the day after that, Christina, Angela, Kayla, Nick, Ken and I went for sushi, followed by GTA V/the most INTENSE game of "Sorry!" ever at Kayla's house, which ended in a victory for Angela because for some reason she was blessed by the probability gods to always draw "4" cards when she leaves the starting point.
And now I have something to say.
I'm sorry that I haven't updated this as frequently. But to be honest, these past few months have been pretty up and down, and after a lot of time writing, I realized a month or so ago that I don't find much fun in blogging anymore. For the past six or so years, it used to be an outlet for me to be creative while having a log of all the things I did during summer. But this year, it felt more like a chore than anything. It's really visible in my writing that I didn't like this year as much as I did the past years, I mean it's pretty apparent that this year's entries weren't as funny as they were in the past years (if they were even funny at all).
So what happened? Truthfully, I don't know. But if I had to guess, I would say the main culprit is probably the fact that I feel like every entry on this blog has to entertain other people, as opposed to just being something that I do for fun. And because of that feeling that I'm required to write stuff that appeals to other people, I can't be honest 100% of the time on here. No matter how depressed I feel on a given day, I still have to churn out another post and I still have to put in jokes and mildly funny captions in every post or else I would have failed as a writer. You might not have read it, but I vented about it before and those feelings have not changed.
I really want to change that. Because truthfully, it's not a great feeling to have to sugarcoat everything and pretend like every day is nothing but sunshine and rainbows even if I have days where I'm too depressed to even leave my room, or days where I'm exhausted after hanging out with my friends and staying up an extra three hours or so to write does not seem like it's worth it.
And then there's the feeling that this blog takes away from the time that I spend with my friends. I've heard some people say that I "only do things for my blog" and not because I want to spend any actual time with them, and I've also heard that I tell this blog more things than I do my friends. I don't want this blog to be something that takes away from those things, I want to actually enjoy the time I have with my friends, not worry about what I'm gonna write to the Internet. So if you're one of those people that have complained about how this blog has been more important to me than the time I spent with you was, then I'm sorry. And I will change that.
I love the idea of having a record of everything I do during summers. That was the main reason why I started writing summer blogs when I started doing them way back in 6th grade with daily emails. But this year, it became less of a summer vacation chronicle and more of an attempt to please other people online. And I think that has poisoned the blog. So something has to change.
So what now? I'll still be updating the blog periodically (maybe even daily if I feel like it ), but with a different focus. Long time readers will know that six years ago, my purpose of writing this blog was to entertain you. But I think that mindset put a lot of pressure on me to try and write things specifically to appeal to other people, as opposed to writing things because I like to write about them, and that mindset that I had to write to entertain other people was what made me not like the blog as much this year.
I want to make the blog what it was in the past years: a simple record of the stuff that I do in summer, with no obligation to impress anyone. I think if I do that, I'll end up liking the blog way more again, and the content will probably improve along the way too. But no more sugarcoating. If I'm depressed, I'll write depressing things, and if I'm happy, I'll write happy things, and if I don't feel like updating the blog then I won't.
I hope you guys understand. I just really want this blog to be something I enjoy doing again, even if that comes at a cost of viewership.
Okay, thanks for reading my little vent, I'll see you tomorrow.
RFotD: Blogging while I was on vacation in Europe was the worst.
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