Today, unfortunately, is the last day that we will see Gwen living in San Diego. Gwen, our surrogate white mother who enjoys white motherly things like reading books on her Kindle at the beach, drawing birds, and threatening us with physical violence if we're the wrong Zodiac sign, will unfortunately be in Utah for the next four years to continue her studies into becoming a park ranger/bird drawer/white mother.
God, it sounds like I'm writing an obituary.
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| Goodnight, sweet prince. |
In order to cherish the last moments we had with her, we decided to have a last supper with her at TPOP. We ordered a big ol' ice cream hot pot, which is basically six scoops of ice cream with some awesome dry ice smoke coming out of the center.
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| Woah. |
We also ordered honey brick toast...
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| Huh. |
And a 150 gram rock of pure, Columbia-grade crack cocaine.
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| And we snorted it right in the restaurant too. |
Just kidding, that giant block of chalk right there was Gwen's birthday gift. It's a dinosaur excavation toy, where you have to manually chisel out all the parts of a dinosaur skeleton and assemble the bones like a real life version of Indiana Jones!
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| As mentioned before, we did this right in the middle of TPOP. |
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| They didn't appreciate the mess, |
We got pretty excited when we successfully extracted our first limb.
But then later moved to the rec center to finish the job, fearing that the people at TPOP would throw us out. Here's a few pictures of our entire paleontologic process.
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| Check out that ribcage imprint on the top. |
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| Making progress. |
Things got especially exciting when we removed and assembled the head.
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| "Hello ladies." |
And by "we," I mostly mean me. I got excited. So excited that I filmed this:
Eventually, we managed to assemble the entire skeleton. And we witnessed it in its full, bony glory.
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| Steven Spielberg would be proud. |
We were so happy. And then we had to put it down.
God, so much death today. On a much lighter note, check out this family portrait that Phoenix drew of us!
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| They're creepy and they're kooky... |
Lets go ahead and do roll call. There's Gwen...
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| You can also see her life goals in the top right. |
Kayla...
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| She looks happy, sure, but inside, she wants your head on a pike. |
Aaliyah...
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| Tiny, armless, ridiculously happy, yepyep. |
Christina...
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| Or maybe it's Genocider Shou from Danganronpa. |
Angela...
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| Yep, she looks like a boy. Just like in 8th grade. |
Me...
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| Me? Mi Ly? Haaaaah. That joke is dead. |
Ken...
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| It's so accurate that Phoenix Ken't have drawn it better. |
And of course, Phoenix.
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| She almost looks like she wants to play a game... |
Later, we decided to end the day with a trip to Rita's and some fun talking about our Zodiac signs. I'm not really a big believer in horoscopes, but it's kinda impressive how accurate the description of a Taurus is to my personality. And yeah, yeah, I know it's not real and they spin it in such a way that the same traits applies to a lot of people, but I mean if you really know me as a person and you read some of these traits, you'd see some pretty true things.
The last thing we did was read this post on which Zodiac signs you should and shouldn't fight, and it is HILARIOUS, especially when Gwen read it in her really loud, super-dramatic way. We were just LOSING it in Rita's, we probably drove away all the other customers from how boisterous we were, but it was TOTALLY WORTH IT.
To get a slice of our fun, imagine these people when you read their respective paragraphs in that link above:
- Aaliyah: Leo
- Me: Taurus
- Christina: Pisces
- Angela: Scorpio
- Kayla: Gemini
- Ken: Sagittarius
- Gwen: Capricorn
- Phoenix: Virgo
Then imagine that it was being read by this woman:
And you would have a very rough estimation of how much of a good time we had at that Rita's at six in the afternoon, over Zodiac signs and frozen drinks.
Gwen, if you're reading this, I would like to say thank you for being a great mother and a great friend. Senior year would not have been as fun as it was if you hadn't been there to call me a bitch-ass pussy in class, or show me the beauty that is the giant Speed ride in the Del Mar Fair, or gouged out your eyes with us in some horrifying cultist blood pact. It's been awesome knowing you, but it's not gonna be goodbye because I know someday, the squad and I are gonna get lost in Utah looking for salty lakes and suddenly hordes of Mormons will attack us and right when we're closest to death, you'll descend from the sky and save us from their bicycles. And then you're gonna call us bitch-ass pussies and tell us to suck your ass as you fly back up, above the clouds, cackling the whole way.
Until then, we'll miss you, Gwen.
RFotD: I am actually not sure if she is going to Utah or not.
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