Mushrooms and Summer Days: Day Fifteen: A Fair-ly Fun Day

6/28/14, 4:24 PM PDT

Went to the Del Mar Fair with Angela, Christina, Brandon, and Kayla. I'm lucky too, I convinced my mom to let me go at pretty much the last possible minute.

I forgot how patriotic the trash cans at the fair were.

Earth's beautifulest country since 1776.

So immediately after entering the fair, guess who greets us?

George Harrison's not looking too good today...

We tried walking around them. See that guitarist guy in the front? Yeah, HE WALKED RIGHT NEXT TO US WHILE WE TRIED TO AVOID THEM. Christina was the first to spot him and she practically shat her pants when his creepy mask ended up inches from her face.

Oh, and you won't believe this, but we saw JAMIE HYNEMAN FROM THE MYTHBUSTERS. We ran to grab a picture with him, check it out!

Ignore the fact that I look worried in this picture.

We got there at around 10:15 and rides didn't open until 11, so since we had some time to kill, we decided to get picture-happy.

In this performance, I endorse cannibalism.

If you look at that palm tree, you'll see a ripe Christina, ready for picking.

From left to right: Me, Kayla, Angela.

Twice while walking, the people manning the game booths offered my group a free shot at that game where you try to keep a ball inside of a giant angled plastic bucket. I stepped up to the plate both times. The first time, I failed MISERABLY. I had three tosses and my first toss DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH THE BUCKET. Second one bounced out, but thankfully, the guy working at the time gave me a little tip to help my game: aim for the sides so that the ball doesn't bounce out. So I did that, the ball stayed in, and he didn't give me a prize because I needed to make it in the bucket twice.

Second time around, when a different guy gave us a free go, I already knew the game's little secret, so I got the ball to stay in the bucket the first time around. And even though he pulled out three balls, I didn't get to try two more times, so I still didn't get a prize.

Speaking of prizes, here were the more notable ones that I managed to take a picture of.

Nipple Pierced Penguinz!™

Knock down all three pins with one ball, win a little slice of FREEDOM.

Pretty soon, it was 11, which meant RIDES. The first one we went on was Alien Abduction. Basically a centrifugal force ride, where everyone lies around the circumference of a circle that spins really REALLY fast so that you stick to its walls. This thing, pretty much:

Imagine this, except only occupied by five screaming teenagers.
(via jazzwhiz.blogspot.com)

I swear, my throat almost collapsed on me during that ride because that thing spun around FAST. I remember Mr. Lawrence said that centrifugal force wasn't a real force waaaaay back in Freshman year, but I think my ribcage almost being crushed is evidence enough that centrifugal force is real.

Next, we went to Storm. Another spinny ride, which, in hindsight, was probably a BIG mistake since it was around this time that my head started hurting. But it was fun. Or at least, as fun as almost-accidental organ rupture can be.

Crazy Mouse next, followed by Bobsled. Thankfully, both weren't spinny rides, which was a nice break from the two crazy spinning rides that we went on so far. There was a guy on the microphone at the Bobsled ride that kept singing to the song that happened to be playing at the time, and when my group of four Asian people and one white girl found our bobsleds, guess what he said?

"Herro."

Followed quickly by

"I seeee you. Ooooooooooo, I see you toooo."

IN THE WORST ASIAN ACCENT I'VE EVER HEARD. It was SUPER racist, but I thought it was hilarious because of how bad his accent was.

I think this is what he thought we looked like.
(via hngn.com)

And then we went on the Orbiter.

Oh god.
(via wikipedia.org)

This entire thing spins. And each set of three chairs ALSO spins, angled at an axis PERPENDICULAR TO THE DIRECTION THAT THE REST OF THE RIDE IS SPINNING. That's... that's a lot of centrifugal force.

I think I almost fainted in this ride because midway through, while the ride was in full swing, I started feeling REALLY dizzy and my head felt really heavy and hard to hold up. Or I could just be a pussy and it could've been the natural feeling that the ride gives people. Either way, I managed to stay awake only because Christina's goddamn hair kept slapping my face when we spun around and it hit me like a WHIP every time. It hit my eyeball once and it felt like a tiny katana slicing through my retinas.

Lastly, Christina and Angela rode the big pendulum pirate ships that go side to side. They stayed at the very end of the ship. And they quickly realized how big of a mistake that was.

Look at that look of sheer horror in Angela's face. Or constipation.
Could be both.

All that took us until noon, so by the time we ran out of ride tickets, we were STARVING. Most of us bought hot dogs from this stand called "Pink's." They have a little gimmick where instead of giving you a number and calling out your number when your order is ready, they gave you the name of a celebrity instead. Look at the name I got.

I don't think they gave these names out randomly, they probably
just thought I was his stunt double. I don't blame them.

LOOK AT WHO CHRISTINA GOT.

Samantha, you feeling jealous yet?

After eating hot dogs, we bought a beautiful, beautiful funnel cake topped with strawberries and whipped cream, drizzled in chocolate syrup, and coated in powdered sugar. Absolute bliss. Didn't grab any pictures of the food, so just Google "funnel cake" and whichever one looks the most delicious was exactly what we got today.

Then we went over to the actual fair's theme building, where they had a big thing on The Beatles for display. They had a really cool "wish tree" where they let the fair visitors write their wishes on tags so that the workers could hang them on the tree at the end of the day.

Pretty.

Closeup. Look at how dense the tree is.

Here's what I wished for.

World peace can wait. I want Terminator feet.

And here's a few interesting ones that we found while looking at the tree.

AWWW YEAH.

Let me just take a picture of this with my... *ahem*
iPhone 5... (just kidding, mine's an iPhone 4)

This person needs to be President of the World.

Deep.

Poor Nodoxy. Good thing this ain't no Death Note.

We also tried to take an Abbey Road picture. But we couldn't find the actual Abbey Road, so we took this instead.

They won't notice... right?

Just kidding, we found it.

When we took this, we knew that everyone and their mother would be taking a picture just like this, so we wanted to make ours look different. And to do that, we had the genius idea of pretending that we tripped while walking on the road. But I reasoned that if we only pretended like we tripped, then it wouldn't really look like we tripped and no one would understand our picture.

So I suggest that we should all legitimately fall. And they agreed.

I told the cameraman to count to three as loud as he can and to snap the picture RIGHT AFTER he said three. We posed exactly like we were taking a normal Abbey Road picture, but on three, we all just HIT THE GROUND. I might have oversold my performance a little bit since I ended up shoving Christina as HARD AS I COULD into Angela and I ended with a dramatic little parkour roll when I fell on the concrete. I heard the crowd watching us all gasp in unison so I'm pretty sure they were impressed and/or aroused by my theatrics.

In hindsight, they probably thought we were stupid, but THAT'S OKAY. We got a pretty AWESOME picture from it, check it ou... oh wait, no. No we didn't.

The guy didn't take a picture of us when we fell.

Shit. Well at least we got this...