Day Ten: KamiKon 2015, Day One

6/25/15, 11:28 PM PDT

Today, Angela, Kayla, and Christina came over to harass Mocha and to soil my Nintendo Wii's memory card with subpar games.

Bastards.
(via Angela)

I took a nap right before they all showed up, which meant I was kinda woozy for the first part of them being over. I don't think they noticed that I was half-awake though, even though I was talking at a few octaves lower than normal and I was reacting to everything super slowly.

So anyway, Kayla brought Call of Duty 3 for the Nintendo Wii. As you can expect from an award-winning series like Call of Duty, the graphics were superb and the action was incredibly immersive. Even though it was one of the games that was released with the Nintendo Wii, I felt it completely captured the graphical and hardware capabilities of the new console.

Nah I'm kidding, it was a total piece of crap. Take a look at their launch trailer, highlighting this nice orange-haired boy showing just how immersive the game is.

Given the fact that my sensor bar was at an awkward position and the fact that you have to point the Wii remote to aim, our experience with the third installment of the Call of Duty franchise was mostly this.

Next, we played The Sims. Well, Kayla played The Sims. We just yelled a bunch of suggestions of stuff she needs to do. We managed to make two characters.

The first was a large, African-American professional chef who is incredibly irritable, lazy, outgoing, and grouchy. This was that man:

I would trust this man with my wife life.

His name? Vezpuuccii Gucci.

Ready for goddamn action.

Of course, we couldn't leave poor Vezpuuccii all alone, so we made him a beautiful companion. Personality-wise, she was the polar opposite of him (because opposites attract), she was a park ranger, and she was known to all only by the name "-￠@$#-"

True love.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that we were playing this Sims game:

Complete with bloody volleyballs and Tom Hanks!
(via gamefaqs.com)

So the first thing that happened was that we got shipwrecked. And for some stupid, stupid reason, Vezpuuccii and the wifey got stranded on SEPARATE ISLANDS. So we had to fetch Cash Money from goddamn Airplane Island while we were stuck with a bunch of literal monkeys on Shipwreck Island.

Maybe Vezpuuccii was just that terrible a husband. Cash Money had to literally catch a plane after the shipwreck to avoid him.

We quickly got impatient. We were running out of food. We were running out of water. We were afraid we were gonna die virgins.

Luckily, we found out that we could interact with (and more importantly, name) these guys:

I'm talking about the monkeys, not the social justice warriors.
(via gamespot.com)

We named a monkey "Waifu." And we grabbed a banana, found some bushes, and we were happy.

Later, we went to eat at The Loving Hut, driven by the safe and careful Christina.

Ignore the obvious phone distraction or the fact that Christina
is currently driving a hearse.

We made it relatively safely to Loving Hut though.

I cropped out the tire tracks on Kayla's legs though. But you don't
need to worry about that.

...Except I didn't check Loving Hut's schedule. Apparently, they're closed until 5PM, which was the exact time that Christina needed to be home by.

The exact moment that all three of their disappointment meters peaked.

So we went to Islands instead. We ordered a LOT of delicious food, but again, I'll spare you the food pictures. Christina left at 4:55 or so in hopes that she would make it back home before her mom unleashed a can of Vietnamese Ass-Whoopin on her. She got home at 5:08.

So yeah, Christina's dead. It was nice knowing you.

We went to Old Navy afterwards. We found this shirt pretty interesting.

Thank you, Shia LaBeouf.

See the little running dude inside of the word "IN?" We remembered that the slogan for The X Files was "I Want to Believe" and we thought it would be HILARIOUS if the little guy in the center was an alien.

So I made it so.

I should totally sell this as a shirt.

Oh and I bought this AWESOME cutlery set. It can turn into a spoon, a fork, a knife, and even CHOPSTICKS.

And it's Australian so you know it's good.

Here it is opened, with all its parts.

It's adorable.

Aaaaand assembled (partially). You just switch out the handles for the other heads as you need to.

Totally bringing this to college. Bruins are gonna be
so jealous.

Good day, good good day.

RFotD: That cutlery set cost THREE BUCKS. BUY IT NOW IT'S AMAZING.